A Comprehensive Guide for Self-Harm Awareness Month
March is Self-Harm Awareness Month, a time dedicated to shedding light on a deeply misunderstood struggle. For many, self-harm (also known as Non-Suicidal Self-Injury or NSSI) is a silent battle fought in the shadows of long sleeves and hidden scars. At New Roads Behavioral Health, we believe that awareness is the first step toward breaking the cycle of shame and finding a road to lasting recovery.
In this comprehensive guide, we will explore the “why” behind self-harm, the connection to personality disorders like BPD, and how evidence-based treatments—including Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)—provide a lifeline for those who feel trapped in a cycle of emotional pain.
Part 1: What is Self-Harm? Moving Beyond the Myths
To support someone struggling with self-harm, we must first define what it is—and what it isn’t. Self-harm is the act of intentionally causing physical pain or injury to one’s own body. It is often used as a coping mechanism to manage overwhelming emotional distress, numbness, or internal chaos.
Common Myths vs. Reality
- Myth: It’s just “attention-seeking.”
- Reality: Most people who self-harm go to great lengths to hide their injuries. It is usually a private attempt to regulate emotions that feel unmanageable.
- Myth: It’s a failed suicide attempt.
- Reality: While self-harm increases the risk of future suicidal ideation, the intent behind NSSI is often the opposite: it is an attempt to cope with life so the person doesn’t have to succumb to suicidal thoughts.
- Myth: Only teenagers do it.
- Reality: While it often begins in adolescence, self-harm affects adults of all ages, genders, and backgrounds.
Part 2: The Psychology of the “Release”
Why would someone hurt themselves to feel better? To those who haven’t experienced it, the logic seems backward. However, from a neurobiological perspective, self-harm often serves a specific “function”:
- Emotional Regulation: Intense emotional pain can feel like an invisible fire. Physical pain provides a tangible distraction, shifting the focus from the mind to the body.
- The Endorphin Rush: The body responds to injury by releasing endorphins and dopamine. For a brief moment, the individual may feel a sense of calm or “relief” from their internal agony.
- Ending Numbness: Some individuals experience “dissociation” or feeling “dead inside.” Self-harm is a way to feel something—to prove they are still alive.
- Self-Punishment: For those struggling with low self-esteem or trauma, self-harm can be an outward expression of internal self-hatred.
Part 3: The Connection Between Self-Harm and Mental Health
At New Roads Behavioral Health, we specialize in Dual Diagnosis and complex mental health challenges. Self-harm rarely exists in a vacuum; it is often a symptom of an underlying condition.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
One of the hallmark symptoms of BPD is emotional dysregulation. Individuals with BPD feel emotions more intensely and for longer durations than others. When the “emotional thermometer” hits 100 degrees, self-harm becomes a desperate attempt to bring the temperature back down.
Trauma and PTSD
Survivors of trauma may use self-harm to cope with flashbacks or to regain a sense of control over a body that once felt violated or unsafe.
Depression and Anxiety
In cases of severe depression, self-harm can be a way to “break through” the heavy fog of lethargy. For anxiety, it can act as a “pressure valve” for built-up tension.
Part 4: How to Help a Loved One
If you discover that a friend or family member is self-harming, your reaction can make a world of difference.
Do:
- Stay Calm: Panic can increase the individual’s shame and anxiety.
- Listen Without Judgment: Ask, “What are you feeling when you feel the urge to do this?” rather than “Why are you doing this to yourself?”
- Validate the Pain: You don’t have to validate the action, but you should validate the emotion behind it. “I can see that you are in a lot of pain right now.”
- Encourage Professional Help: Self-harm is a complex behavior that usually requires clinical intervention to stop.
Don’t:
- Use Ultimatums: Saying “If you do it again, I’m leaving” only increases the stress that triggers the behavior.
- Shame Them: Comments like “Think of what this does to your family” often backfire.
- Act Like a Police Officer: Forcefully checking their body for scars can damage the trust necessary for recovery.
Part 5: The New Roads Approach to Recovery
At New Roads, we don’t just treat the “scars”—we treat the person. Our philosophy is rooted in evidence-based modalities that empower clients to build a “life worth living.”
1. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
DBT is the gold standard for treating self-harm and BPD. It focuses on four key pillars:
- Mindfulness: Learning to be present in the moment without judgment.
- Distress Tolerance: Developing “crisis survival” skills to get through an urge without making the situation worse.
- Emotion Regulation: Understanding and labeling emotions so they don’t become overwhelming.
- Interpersonal Effectiveness: Learning how to communicate needs and set boundaries.
2. Dual Diagnosis Treatment
Many of our clients struggle with both mental health and substance use. We recognize that drugs or alcohol are often used alongside self-harm as a way to numb pain. By treating both simultaneously, we address the root of the “self-medication” cycle.
3. Transitional Living and Community
Recovery doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Our transitional living programs provide a safe environment where clients can practice their new coping skills in the real world while still having the support of a clinical team.
Part 6: Creating a “Safety Plan” for Self-Harm
For those currently struggling, Self-Harm Awareness Month is a great time to develop a Safety Plan. This is a written document you can turn to when the urges become strong.
- Identify Triggers: What situations, people, or thoughts lead to the urge?
- Internal Coping Strategies: Try the “15-minute rule”—tell yourself you will wait 15 minutes before acting. During that time, use a “cold shock” (like holding an ice cube) or intense exercise.
- Social Distractions: Who can you call just to talk about something else? What public place can you go to stay safe (a library, a coffee shop)?
- Safe Environment: Remove items from your immediate reach that you might use to hurt yourself.
Conclusion: There is Hope Beyond the Hurt
Self-harm is a heavy burden to carry, but you don’t have to carry it alone. This March, let’s replace the bandages of secrecy with the light of conversation.
At New Roads Behavioral Health, we have seen incredible transformations. We have seen individuals move from daily self-harm to months and years of “clean time,” replaced by healthy relationships, meaningful work, and genuine self-love.
If you or a loved one are struggling, remember: The cycle can be broken. You are not “broken” or “crazy”—you are in pain, and there are tools to help you manage that pain without hurting your body.
Contact New Roads Behavioral Health today at 1-888-358-8998 or visit our to learn more about our specialized programs for BPD, trauma, and self-harm recovery.
Note: If you are in immediate crisis, please call or text 988 in the US and Canada to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7.